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Chip is an 18-year-old, confident, opinionated homeschooler living in Mediocre, PA. When he gets interested in anything, he pursues it relentlessly until he's memorized it, built it, drawn it, or shot it several times. Due to extreme obsession with medieval Scotland, Francis the Mysterious Power Giver gave him… well, powers. Dressed in his kilt and armed with a knife in his sock, Kiltboi can access the mystery and power of forgotten legend… in a practical sense, he can teleport, call up spirits by speaking Latin or elvish, and fly. Fly in a kilt? Yes. He wears shorts under it. (I think.) He is also aided by his natural "Powers of Persuasion", or perhaps "inclination to obnoxiously and perseveringly argue any point presented him". |
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Kip is Chip's friend, a homeschooled 18-year-old whose life is a perpetual caffeine high. He possesses multiple personalities, some of which correspond to the level of caffeine in his body, but none are really evil and he retains his memory from one to the other. Kip works Subway during the day, but at night, unbeknownst to most people, he dons a black trenchcoat and lurks in the shadows playing with knives. He owns several sweet knives and lighters, and the coolest part is that he has a robotic arm! He won't say where he got it or how he lost the original, but the arm comes in handy very often, with superhuman strength and strategically placed blades that fold out of it. He keeps it covered with gloves or flesh-colored latex "skin" during the day. |
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When this 16-year-old elf in disguise moved in from Tennessee, Chip's life was essentially plowed over by a crazed unicorn. Chip and Atara have a love-hate relationship, which manifests itself in bruised shins most of the time. Atara is a fiery, passionate girl who can use magic and speak to animals and magical creatures. She communes with unicorns, centaurs, fairies and the like, and often can persuade them to do what she wants. She is a strong-willed, spontaneous southern belle (albeit without an accent) who is often very stubborn, values friendship and cannot stand disloyalty. |
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Dave is Ataralasse's younger brother, who possesses the unusual talent of turning into a large hairy beast. Dave is cheerful, friendly, and gentlemanlike, except he does carry around several knives and a large club he hacked from an old Christmas tree. He is practical and is generally not given to fits of psycho spontaneity like his older sister. He and Atara often butt heads over issues such as whether it would be cool to remove all the doors in the house to build a boat, but such issues are typically resolved painlessly and the two are mostly just friends. |
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Ben is Chip's younger brother, who coincidentally was "sleeping" in the room when Chip got his powers. Ben is very quiet, but observes nearly everything that goes on around him. He knows all the ins and outs of Chip's alter ego (and pretty much everyone else's too) and uses his knowledge to an advantage: Chip is forced to pay Benny off, just to make sure any information doesn't leak out! Ben, consequently, gets much moolah and is able to get better spy equipment. A child prodigy at mind games and politics, Ben is the head of the League of Younger Siblings, the rival group of Chip and his friends. |
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Esther is a soft-spoken 18-year old girl with dark hair and a big smile. She is very sweet and rule-abiding, usually, but she has a big problem. After receiving a stiff electrical shock while simultaneously eating chocolate and hearing a sour note on her sister's violin, her brain was, for lack of a better word, "fried", and she acquired another personality. It ain't friendly. The other personality, the self-proclaimed "Baroness VonEvilheimer", is the complete opposite of Esther in every way. She's sneaky, sadistic and power hungry. She takes over Esther suddenly if either chocolate, electricity, or a violin is applied, and leaves under the same stimuli, but not before doing some more plotting or putting on a spangly purple gown. The Baroness is intent on taking over Mediocre, PA, and neither Kiltboi, Atara, or Kip is going to stand in her way! |
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Lizzy is Esther's twin, though not identical, and is even more soft-spoken and rule abiding. She enjoys dark, cozy, quiet places where she can enjoy literature to her heart's content. There seems to be something fishy about Lizzy; she appears to be very easily swayed by her sister and often is persuaded to join in her schemes - but maybe she's just hypnotized? |
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Betsy is the younger sister of Atara and Dave, and an informal member of the League of Younger Siblings. Don't be fooled by the cute exterior; the big smile, curly hair and frilly dresses! Betsy is a well-honed assassin, working for Ben when she feels it's worth her while. Her "cute" pet lizard is a fire-breathing dragon in disguise. Do NOT try to pet him unless you're bringing him a haunch of meat. |
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"Alice" was "born" on another planet 17 earth years ago and was stranded in Mediocre, PA several years later for some reason. Fortunately, her host body was essentially human, so she was able to blend in to earth life rather easily. Because she was trained to be an observer, she feels a compulsion to copy down most of what she sees; and she sees a lot. She copied down the story of Kiltboi in a "graphic novel" fashion, and posts it on the internet in hope that one of her ships in orbit will access it and… know about Kiltboi… because it's important to their lives… yeah. |
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Reynaldo is a very loud 12-year-old kid, the surrogate brother of "Alice"and a member of the league of younger siblings. In fact, Reynaldo is so loud that he was visited by Francis the Mysterious Power Giver who gave him loud powers. Reynaldo's alter ego is Sonar, a dude in a martial arts suit who has very sensitive hearing, can echolocate, and "flies" by creating intense sound waves from his hands that throw him up off the ground. He knows Tai Kwon Do and is very energetic… sure, he's an effective fighter, but dang, he's very loud. |
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What can we say? He's mysterious and he gives powers. Mostly he gives powers to geeks as reward for their level of attained geekiness. I guess you could say he's like the patron god of the Geeks or something. Can't you just see a marble statue of this guy in a toga with a harp, a Dostoevsky novel, a pocket protector and big glasses? |
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Yemal is the most extroverted hermit one is ever likley to meet. Officially, Yemal lives alone somewhere in the woods in a hut near a pond, wearing a nondescript brown cloak and selling secrets. Unofficially, he sells fireworks and explosives, loves company and conversation and beating people with large objects, and commands an army of ninja ducks. Always carries a knife and lighter. Yeah. |
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Andy is a highschool chemistry teacher, although due to drinking way too much coffee as a high school student, he still looks like a highschool student. He is a chemistry and computer genius, and calls himself a "responsible hacker" in private. Has had dealings with Ben before and doesn't seem to want to repeat them. |
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Weed is just a tall, funny guy; a friend of Chip and the gang who works at Burger King and commits random acts of vandalism. He doesn't necessarily have powers, unless you count that he can withstand the effects of caffeine, can reach the top shelf at Walmart, and looks good on a scooter in a three-piece robin-egg-blue pinstriped suit. But hey, there's nothing wrong with that. |
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Katie, a dark-haired, 15-year-old pastor's kid, hangs out with Chip and the gang occasionally. She's a bit shady and not much is known about her, although she's a movie connoisseur and has a hobby of hip-hop dancing. Crazy? Perhaps, but we like her that way. |
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There are many Bens. They are insane. No one knows where they came from. No one wants to ask. |